Monday part 2

Things continue to move forward today, as our son has a fresh new sign hanging at his isolet...Sam, at last. I got there a little latter, Emma seems as though she had a running nose tonight, and can no longer come in to see mom and brother. We finally took a bunch of pictures. Uncle Bruce is coming up tonight to make us all dinner, so Tara is coming back with me for the event. Sam had his first draw in mom today. Big open mouth and a good latch. Amazing how the little things have become huge events. To date he seems to have lost a little more than 1o% of his initial weight. That seems fairly normal. At Emma's last visit she began asking on our way to the hospital if she could talk to the "ladies"(the nurses). She spend more time with them around the NICU and in the office than with mom and dad. She likes to say "bye ladies" on the way out the door.

Monday the new day

On the upside, it has been fairly direct road of progression so far. I hate the fact that I can't enjoy it more. However, if I could offer ANY advice to anyone in a similar situation, it would be watch the nurses. No, Bruce, I don't mean LIKE THAT!!! If you spend anytime in the NICU initially you sit there staring at your kid, wishing them better. After a while of watching the heaving torso from the laboured breathing and the twitching from developing systems, your eyes always gravitate to the monitors. The monitors are part of the machinery that your kid is tethered to. They show the heart rate, breathing rate, and the amount of oxygen being absorbed. It has lots of numbers, lights, and alarms. The machine is constantly reporting bad news in the early days. You can easily bring yourself to the edge by sitting and watching the machine. At times the perceived level of indifference when the machine is going off will send you up the wall. Usually the culprits are the contacts. I turns out that the kids move, and some love to tear at the wires. The bottom line is that you should be watching your kid, and only be concerned when the nurses are. I have been forgetting this rule...

Ultimately Today is a big day around here. The boy got moved into a regular "isolet". Having your kid inside the plexi glass box doesn't seem like an improvement, in fact quite the opposite. However it now means that he is stable, requiring much less attention from the nurses, and can now focus on resting. Not being around the big machines help the parents relax a little. Today, the lights are still on to

lower his billie count, so his eyes are covered and he has a small tube across his nose for the assisted breathing, but he no longer has the massive tubing from the CPAP and for one of the first times he has no hat on. He has a fair amount of hair. Mom got to hold him skin to skin today. Massive step for us all. He continues to accept very small bits of breast milk in an effort to get him transitioned off of the cocktail that is stuck in his foot or arm. Our Emma Ros

e continues to be the amazing kid she has been through out. She is finding it hard only seeing her mom a couple of times a day, but has become something of a rock star within the NICU. When she shows up and struts her way to the end of the room to see her brother, the nurses continue to make a fuss over her. She is a breath of fresh air. At home,

she is less comfortable with just dad and Uncle Mike all day. She sticks to dad like glue and is very upset if he is out of sight. Work is an impossibility.

The weekend

Well, this weekend was about stabilizing the boy, getting into a routine and finding a name. We had lots of family this weekend. We finally got to hold "Tres". He is however becoming stronger and better at pulling off his CPAP, and as a result requires constant monitoring and adjustments. Tara is doing much better. She got discharged from the huge room that she was enjoying and now taking up residence in the "hospitality room". If the name has a spa-like ring to it for you, opening the door might bring a startling level of disappointment. Every 3 hours she gets up, pumps and sits with the wee man. We managed a family picture this weekend, which was nice. The nurses are trying to get his stomach to take food by giving it tiny drops through a tube that goes to his stomach. After letting it sit they draw a sample back out to see if it has begun to digest food. At this point everyone is on board with the name the boy challenge that we have going. I would love to pay tribute to Opa with a German name, but they are soo angry sounding.

Day 2

For me day 2 is a nightmare. After Jack was born, I remember sitting in a chair in the room with Tara surrounded by family and friends, just rubbing my head saying that I wasn't going to make it through this. The NICU for us is a part of having kids. We know the routine. We have a group of nurses that we easily call friends. However, that doesn't make it any less horrible on the second day. The "thrill" of the delivery has worn off. We are now faced with sitting for hours trying to support and bond with our son from a distance. The trouble is that he is covered in wires and tubes and you can't hold him. At this point he has now got enough cognitive abilities and strength to let you know how horrible it is. I can't believe that at this point the baby(now nicknamed "tres") still doesn't have a name. It makes it harder to bond. The nurses tell me that he is strong and doing good. The big job ahead is to get his lungs up and running. He never received the steroid that assist his lungs to dry out properly. For now he is on the CPAP. Can I tell you how much he hates that thing stuck in his nose. All of our friends and family have been stepping up. We are getting so many e-mails and calls and visits. Emma has been so good. She is quite happy to see "the ladys" at the hospital, and "the baby". However the days are long and keeping her on schedule is challenging her.

So here we go again

The two of us in a freezing cold room surrounded by 6 strangers. Unbelievably, Tara again refused all pain relief. You can never feel more useless than when you stand beside your wife, watching, holding her leg, and telling her she is doing good. After the doctor suggesting that it was a girl, at 12:12 we were proud parents of a new son. At that point we had a problem. We only had names for girls. He looks so big for under 5lbs. His face is very mature. He had the long skinny feet of his brother Jack. Mom has a quick snuggle with her new son, and he is gone to the NICU. The last contact for the two for some time. Tara looks in great shape. She is alot of pain, and only wants to see her boy. We wheel her away to her room. She keeps asking if I am OK.

The morning of

I knew we were in trouble. Not because Uncle Bruce was visiting. Although that is usually a sign of something going on. No, the fact that Tara wasn't interested in her steak dinner meant that there was a problem. We went to bed, neither of talking about the 'what if', just pretending to get some sleep. The morning brought the realization that although we had managed to pack a bag for the first time, we were not ready for this. We took Emma to Rose Anns, and made our way to the hospital. We got there for 9:30, tried to impress upon nurses that this will likely happen really fast. Know that this is our last, I tried really hard to slow down and enjoy it this time. Looking around the delivery room it was amazing what I had never noticed before. Really, a ghetto blaster and a lawn chair was not something that I had expected...

ern's first time...

Well, what can we say...the rewards are greater in the road less travelled?! Days ago we were given the much needed assurance that there was a greater than 90% that the baby would not be coming in the next two weeks. Around this house, that kind of result gives us the much needed relief that we need to breath easier, and sleep better. We took some pictures. Tara, Emma and I had genuine smiles, something that have been too few and too far between since we had embarked on this journey. One step at a time, sometimes it feels like minute to minute is how we have made it through the last 33 weeks. Now here we are. Again.

Welcome to the Wallner Family Blog

We've just given birth to our third child and thought it is time to start a little blog to keep family and friends updated. This first entry will be short and sweet and just contain a couple of pics and some info. Tara and baby are healthy and doing well. No name for the little guy yet, but soon to come! He was born on March 24th, 12:12pm at 33 weeks and was 4lbs 13oz. Big sister Emma is very excited and keeps mentioning that she is looking forward to playing hockey with her younger brother (we've figured this out from the combination of the words 'baby, hockey, beat'). We have been receiving well wishes from people both near and far and thank everyone! That's it for now, back to the name game....